


Like Patchwork

by AToTheJayToTheHizzy



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Issues, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has PTSD, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Autistic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Creativity Roman "Princey" Sanders has PTSD, Cutting, Harvey is based off of deceit but is technically an oc, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Other, Please let me know if I need to add anything to the tags!!!, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Remus is unstable, Remy is Dr. Picani's son, Roman Logan and Patton are Virgil's dads, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Virgil had a different name before Virgil, accidental suicide attempt, harvey is a reference to Harvey dent aka two face, he doesn’t show up until way later though, past self-harm, read the tags, tags update with each chapter, very angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21674827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AToTheJayToTheHizzy/pseuds/AToTheJayToTheHizzy
Summary: The Sanders family is like a quilt. They've been stitched together by their experiences, both good, and bad, to create something beautiful. But, someone is now trying to tear their family apart. The Sanders are determined to not let him.AKA Roman's abusive ex-boyfriend/Virgil's abusive birth father has been released from jail, and is determined to make everybody's lives a living hell.This book is Roman/Patton/Logan and Sleepxiety (Virgil/Remy)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 97
Kudos: 292





	1. October 4th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's spontaneous date night! 
> 
> Virgil relives some unnerving memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details.

_ October 4th, 2019 _

“I’m home!” Virgil called, shutting the door behind him. Quickly locking the door (and triple checking that it was locked) he walked further into the house, growing more anxious when there was no reply. Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his back pocket. Quickly pulling it out, he sighed in relief when he saw it was one of his dads. 

**_Happy Pappy Patton:_ **

_ Hey kiddo! We know you usually get home around this time and you have a bad habit of forgetting to look at the famILY calendar, so we just wanted to remind you that it’s spontaneous date night! There’s cash on the counter if you feel like having takeout, and there are leftovers in the fridge if not. We’ll be home by 7:30, call us if you need anything! Love you! - Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3 _

Virgil chuckled at the end of the text, knowing it must have been Patton’s turn to pick their nicknames. They rotated, like the dorks they were. Stretching, Virgil pulled out a quick snack and got started on his homework. He really wanted to pass out on the couch but, he needed to at least start on his homework before his parents got home.

Virgil really did love spontaneous date nights. It gave him some time to himself, and it gave his fathers time with each other. 

When Roman, Patton, and Logan’s relationship first began, they learned that both Roman and Virgil would stress over anything if they had to much notice. So, Patton brought up the idea of spontaneous date nights. 

At the beginning of the month, everyone got together and discussed what days were open for spontaneous dates, which ones weren’t. One person would plan a date and leave the other two clueless as to when it would happen. 

The only difference between the spontaneous date nights then and the ones now is that Virgil could now stay home alone, and Roman was also allowed to plan spontaneous dates. Roman had originally been too anxious about planning dates to be able to fully participate, but now he knew how to not stress as much. As for Virgil: everybody had always insisted that they didn’t mind Virgil coming with but, Virgil knew that they had to. Regardless, the strategy reduced both Roman and Virgil’s anxiety about big, and small, events.

Virgil really did love spontaneous date nights. He only wished he could enjoy his Geometry homework as much.

\----

_ Virgil blinked, staring at his arms, newly adorned with fresh scars, “Fuck,” He muttered, trying to stand up and reach the first aid supplies, only to nearly fall over again as black spots overtook his vision, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”  _

_ Virgil let out a strangled yelp as he slipped, falling backward. He groaned as his vision began to go dark, seeing three pairs of feet before he slipped into darkness.  _

\----

Virgil jolted up from the couch, breathing heavily at the memory. He jumped as the front door opened, tumbling off the couch. 

“Virgil!” Patton exclaimed when they walked into the apartment, “What are you doing on the floor, kiddo?” Logan, Roman, and Patton all looked at him, concerned.

“Nightmare,” Virgil muttered quietly. It wasn’t a bad nightmare; bad nightmares had him screaming, hyperventilating, and sobbing. No, it wasn’t a bad nightmare, it was just an unnerving memory. 

“Are you with us, Virge?” Logan asked, kneeling in front of Virgil.  _ Oh, _ he thought,  _ they think I’m dissociating. _

“Yeah, I’m here just a bit… confused is all,” They didn’t seem to understand and Virgil sighed, rubbing his eyes, “I just woke up from a really weird dream… or nightmare… or whatever so I’m just confused and not awake yet, I guess,” They all seemed to relax at the answer, Roman moving to card a hand through his hair. Virgil relaxed, leaning against his father. 

“Alrighty,” Patton started, “As long as you promise to-” Virgil cut him off, a small smile making its way onto his lips. 

“Talk about it if I need to, I know, I know. I’ll bring it up to Emile on Tuesday, okay?” Everyone seemed satisfied with the answer, quickly deciding to move to the couch for a Disney marathon.

As the clock struck midnight, they all vacated to the master bedroom, spreading out across the large bed, “I love you guys,” Virgil murmured, on the brink of sleep. He got a chorus of, “love you” from his parents (including Roman signing it to Virgil as earlier in the day he had established that it was a non-verbal kind of day) before Virgil gently drifted off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tigger Warnings  
> (Post) Cutting  
> (Mentions of) Selective mutism due to trauma 
> 
> Please let me know if I need to add anything else!
> 
> Stay safe, lovelies!!!


	2. February 14th, 2019 & October 8th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil doesn't trust these new guys. 
> 
> Virgil goes to therapy and make a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. Please check the end note for more details.

_ February 14th, 2019 _

_ “How can you trust them?” Virgil screamed at his father, “How do you know they won’t be like  _ him _ , that they won’t hurt us? There’s two of them, don’t you understand that they could hurt us so much more than  _ he  _ ever did? How could you stop them!” _

_ “I can’t, okay!” Roman yelled back, silencing Virgil, “I… I can’t promise that they won’t hurt us, that they won’t hurt you, and that brings me so much pain but… I love them, Virgil. I love them so, so much and I’m taking a risk, and hoping it pays off. I’m not asking you to trust them, Virgil. I’m asking you to trust me.” _

\----

_ October 8th, 2019: 3:15 PM _

“Who’s taking me to therapy?” Virgil yelled, grabbing a pair of keys off of the hooks near the door. Instead of an answer, he was met with all three of his parents racing down the stairs, tripping over each other. Raising an eyebrow, Virgil glanced between Patton, Logan, and Roman, “I take it that means you’re all coming?” 

“Yes,” Logan affirmed, fixing his tie like he hadn’t just jumped over his boyfriends to reach the bottom of the stairs first, “We have groceries to get, so we figured we’d make a date out of it,” 

“Cool,” Virgil replied, popping his gum, “am I driving?”

“Yeah, if you want to kiddo,” Patton replied shrugging his shoulders.

Virgil hummed, double-checking his watch, “Yeah, I’ll drive, as long as you guys don’t make out in the backseat again,”

“That was one time!” Logan spluttered as Virgil raced to the car.

As everyone got settled in Roman made sure to tell Virgil that, “He would pay for that betrayal!” Virgil rolled his eyes, before backing out of the driveway. 

Virgil loved his family.

\----

_ October 8th, 2019: 4:27 PM _

“Well Virgil, unless there’s anything else you would like to talk about, I think we’re all done for today!” 

Virgil thought for a few seconds, before shaking his head, “Nah, I’m good,” 

Dr. Emile Picani smiled, grabbing his bag and a few of his trinkets before moving towards the door, “I’ll walk you out,” Walking into the waiting room while finishing their conversation about possibilities for the next season of  _ Steven Universe _ , Virgil was surprised to find someone sitting one of the chairs. 

Virgil was always Dr. Picani’s last patient on Tuesdays, and he didn’t know the person laying half upsidedown in the chair, or why they were there. It made him anxious. 

“Took you long enough,” The person (who was wearing sunglasses. Inside. At 4:30 PM) said and, for a heart-racing moment, Virgil thought they were talking to him. Virgil sighed in relief when Dr. Picani replied instead, “Your shift ended early I suppose?” Honestly, Virgil was a bit confused about who this person was but, it wasn’t any of his business. So, instead of standing awkwardly at Dr. Picani’s side, he pulled up his dad’s contact and pressed call.

“Hi, Virge!” Roman’s voice came through the speaker, causing Virgil to wince and turn the volume down, “So we, uh, we got caught in some… in some traffic, so we’ll be a little bit late, sorry,”

Before Virgil could respond, Logan’s voice came through the phone, quieter, obviously in the background, “Is that Virgil? Let me talk to him. Roman, give me the phone. Roman. Oh, for the love of-” He heard some shuffling before Logan began to speak again, voice clearer this time. “Virgil? Roman lied. We did not get stuck in traffic, Roman and Patton saw a bunny on the side of the road and wanted to pet it,” 

Virgil snorted, removing his thumbnail from his mouth, “Of course. Did you stop them, Logo?” He spoke quietly, still hyper-aware of Dr. Picani and the random person who looked way to good in a leather jacket in the room with him.

Logan sighed, and Virgil could imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose, “Well, the bunny ran away before they could attempt to pet it but, instead of simply leaving it at that, they continued to chase it,” 

Virgil smirked, tapping his fingers against his thigh, “Alright well, how much longer will you guys be?”

“It should only be another five to ten minutes _ if we do not take any more unsolicited detours _ !” Logan yelled the last part, clearly talking to Roman and Patton, who Virgil could hear giggling in the background. 

“Sounds good, text me when you get here please?” 

After Logan’s reply of, “Affirmative,” Virgil hung up, looking back to Dr. Picani and leather jacket dude. 

“Traffic?” Dr. Picani asked, smiling sympathetically.

Virgil snorted, shaking his head, “Ro tried to play it off as traffic, but Lo grabbed the phone and told me that Pat and Ro had chased a bunny into the woods,” 

Dr. Picani shook his head, smiling, “That sounds just like them,”

“That’s what I said!” Virgil exclaimed. “Anyways,” he started, “They’re gonna be like, another ten minutes so if you want to go ahead and go, I can wait outside,” 

Dr. Picani shook his head, still smiling, “No, it’s totally fine Virgil! In fact, I forget a few things in my office. Who am I,  _ Pinkey _ ?” Virgil smirked at the cartoon reference (at least he understood this one). 

As Dr. Picani went back to his office, Virgil sat down, a single chair separating him and sunglasses dude. Not big enough of a space that they could take it as an insult, but also not to close to weird them out. 

Virgil grabbed his phone, hoping to find something to distract him from the impeeding social anxiety, when someone (presumably sunglasses person) tapped him on the shoulder; Virgil jumped, turning to look at where the tap had come from, before letting out a breath.

“Woah,” the person spoke, a distinct southern accent making itself known, “Sorry doll, didn’t mean to startle you,” 

Virgil waved the apology off, ignoring the hammering in his chest, “‘s fine. Not your fault, ‘m just jumpy,” 

The person (who looked, or sounded, oddly familiar) didn’t look entirely convinced but continued anyway, “Well I just wanted to say that you’re a real cutie and I wanted to ask if you wanted to get coffee sometime? As new friends or, maybe something else?” 

Virgil was burning alive. No one had ever asked him out, even platonically.  _ Oh God _ , he thought,  _ what do I say? What am I supposed to say? If I say no will he get mad? Or what if I say no, regret it, and never see him again? _

Dr. Picani’s voice broke him from his thoughts, “Remy,” he said, addressing the person next to him.  _ So their name’s Remy. Huh.  _ “What did you do to Virgil?”

“I didn’t do nothin’!” Remy exclaimed, raising their arms as if they were surrendering, “I asked him if he might want to get coffee sometime and I think he spontaneously combusted!” 

Virgil couldn’t help it; suddenly he was laughing, the kind of full laughter that made you entire stomach ache from the force of it. 

Remy smirked, looking to Dr. Picani before exclaiming, “Well, look at that! He lives!” 

Virgil just smiled, laughter slowly dying out, “So doll?” Remy turned to him, lifting their sunglasses onto their head, “I didn’t get an answer. Feel free to say no,” 

“I think…” Virgil started, before looking away, “I think that would be fun-um nice! I…” Remy smiled at him, before grabbing their phone and placing it in Virgil’s lap.

At Virgil’s confusion, he chuckled, “Your phone number?” Remy hinted, smiling when Virgil ducked his head, embarrassed. 

“Um… here,” Virgil said handing back the phone. 

“Thanks, I’ll text you and when can figure out a time to hang and shit, m’kay?” Virgil just gave a thumbs up, before wrinkling his nose at his response. Before Virgil could say anything else, Patton came sprinting into the room, barely stopping himself in time from barreling into Dr. Picani. 

“Sorry, Doc!” Patton said, wheezing a bit, “I may or may not have taken Logan’s tie, he wasn’t happy about it” Virgil could see it now, the blue fabric wrapped in a ball, that rested in Patton’s hand. Patton then turned to Virgil, startling a bit when he saw Remy next to Virgil, “Oh!” he exclaimed, before thrusting his hand out, “Hi! I’m Patton! What’s your name?” 

Remy chuckled at Patton’s enthusiasm, holding out his own hand for Patton to shake, “Name’s Remy,” he said, smiling.

“Oh, oh, oh!” Patton jumped, his energy through the roof, “Are you Virgil’s friend?”  _ Oh God,  _ Virgil thought, sinking down into his chair,  _ just kill me now _ .

Remy hummed in thought, looking to Virgil and winking, before turning back to Patton, “I believe I am,” 

Well… Virgil supposed that that wasn’t the  _ worst  _ answer he could have received, “Awesome!” Patton exclaimed. Thankfully, before Patton could embarrass Virgil further, Logan walked in, Roman on his heels. 

Logan stopped in front of Patton, holding his hand out, “Tie?” He asked, features softening when Patton smiled and dropped it into his hand, “Thank you, Love,” Logan then turned to Dr. Picani and started to apologize for their tardiness.

Dr. Picani just waved it off claiming that, “Sometimes you need to let your inner  _ Alice _ out and chase a bunny into the woods,” Logan just nodded to that, knowing by now not to argue with the Doctor’s odd references. 

“Alright,” Roman said, checking his watch, “We should get going. We’ll see you Thursday?”

“Of course!” Dr. Picani exclaimed, smiling at Roman. 

As Virgil stood up and started walking out the door, Remy called, “See you soon, Doll!” Virgil didn’t say anything, just nodding before racing out the door. 

“So…” Roman started, once they were in the car, “doll, huh?”

“Don’t you dare!” Virgil mumbled, avoiding his parents’ eyes. They all laughed, teasing him for the remainder of the (long, long,  _ long _ ) drive home.

When they finally got home, they made dinner before putting on  _ Alice in Wonderland _ , Virgil falling asleep in the arms of his parents to the soft cries of the white rabbit as he realized the time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings  
> (Mentions of) abuse  
> Please let me know if I need to add anything else!
> 
> *Pinkey: Pinkey from the show Pinkey and the Brain, generally perceived as dumb, silly, and odd.  
> *Alice: Alice from the movie (or book) Alice in Wonderland (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland) chased a white rabbit through the woods, until she fell into a hole leading her into another world. 
> 
> Can… Can you tell I’m bad at writing Picani? Yeah, sorry about that. Most of the therapy scenes will probably be skipped because I kinda suck at writing Picani.


	3. August 23rd, 2019 & October 12th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan, Roman, and Patton hold an intervention. Virgil gets pissed.
> 
> Remy and Virgil hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details. 
> 
> Oof. Sorry about that wait, but finals kicked my butt. I'm hoping to build up some chapters of break, but we'll see.

_August 23rd, 2019_

_“... What the fuck?” Virgil questioned, seeing Roman and his boyfriends all sat on the couch, clearly waiting for him._

_“Virgil,” Logan said sternly, arms crossed over his chest, “We would like to talk to you,”_

_Virgil pretended to ponder the thought, finger tapping against his chin, “How about… no,” He moved to continue up to his room, before Roman stood up, and moved in front of the stairs, “Move,” He growled, glaring at Roman. Roman did not move._

_“Kiddo…” Patton started, wringing his hands, “We want to talk to you about your grades,”_ Fuck, _Virgil thought,_ so that’s what this was about _._

_“What about them?” Virgil asked, faking nonchalance despite the anxiety that was causing his heart to pound in his chest._

_“Virgil, it is the third week of school and you are currently failing all of your classes, including your electives,” Logan stated, pushing his glasses up his nose._

_“So?” Virgil scoffed, picking at a thread on his sleeve, “Why do you care?”_

_Roman frowned, “Virgil, we’re your parents,” he stated, “of course we care-” Virgil couldn’t take it any longer._

_“You’re not my parents!” He exploded, hands curling into fists at his sides, “None of you! Not you, Roman, and certainly not the two of you,” he exclaimed, pointing to Patton and Logan where they were still sat on the couch, “I’m sick of all you fucking adults deciding everything for me! You guys are no better than… than Harvey or Remus. I hate fucking adults. I hate you!”_

_Shocked from Virgil yelling, Roman had let his arms drop from where they had been preventing Virgil from leaving the room. Quickly, Virgil pushed past Roman, ran up the stairs, and slammed the door behind him, no doubt locking it too._

_Everything was still for a moment before Roman dropped onto the stairs, head in his hands, “I-we…” Patton and Logan walked over, sitting beside Roman, “I’m not,” he whispered brokenly, “I’m not, I’m not like, like,”_

_“We know sweetie,” Patton soothed, blinking back his own tears, “We know,”_

\----

_October 12th, 2019: 10:07 AM_

Virgil turned in front of the mirror, checking his reflection meticulously, “Are you sure it looks fine?” He asked, turning back to his parents. Patton was laughing, clapping his hands together. Roman was absolutely _beaming_ , and Logan’s smile was so large, Virgil was afraid it hurt.

“You look wonderful Virge!” Roman exclaimed, before scooping his son up in a bear hug.

“Father, Papa, help!” Virgil wheezed. Patton hummed before looking back at Virgil with an evil glint in his eyes. 

“We could help you,” He said, “Or… We could join you!” He exclaimed, before running over and smushing Virgil between himself and Roman. 

“Logo, please!” Virgil called, trying to fight the smile from forming on his face. Logan began to slowly walk forwards, slowly reaching out towards Virgil, only to join in the hug. Virgil squealed as Patton began to tickle him, trying to escape the hold of his parents. Everyone froze when the doorbell rang.

Virgil screeched quietly, ducking under Roman’s arms to grab his bag and run down the stairs. He skidded to a stop in front of the door, running a hand through his hair before opening the door. 

Remy stood there, sunglasses covering his eyes, smirking at Virgil, “Hey babes, cute sweater,” Virgil blushed looking down at his outfit: a lavender, oversized sweater that he had stolen from Patton, some pastel blue overalls, black tights, and purple converse. 

“Thanks!” Virgil squeaked, blush darkening, “I like your, um, your jacket,” Virgil replied, looking at his feet. 

Remy chuckled before holding out his hand, “Well, you ready to go?” Virgil stepped forwards, before turning around. 

“One second,” Virgil told Remy, moving to the living room. Logan, Patton, and Roman sat together on the couch, surprised at Virgil’s appearance. 

“What-” Roman started, before Virgil jumped into their cuddle pile, hugging them. 

“Bye,” He whispered, “I love you guys.” Before they got a chance to respond, Virgil had run back to the front door, closing it behind him.

“ _Now_ I’m ready,” Virgil said, smiling at Remy.

\----

_October 12th, 2019: 12:58 PM_

“You’re kidding!” Virgil cried, starring at Remy incredulously. Remy pushed his sunglasses down his nose, eyes twinkling.

“Nope!” Remy smirked, sliding his phone across to Virgil. 

Looking at the picture, Virgil scoffed, sliding down in his chair, “How the fuck did you get to meet the original cast of Hamilton?

“My dad’s got connections, girl,” Virgil sighed, blowing his bangs out of his face. The two were silent for a moment before Remy checked the time on his phone, “Sorry to end this, but I’ve got work in an hour, we should probably wrap up here,” 

“Yeah, okay,” Virgil agreed. He was exhausted, and his back wasn’t particularly happy about sitting in a poorly cushioned chair for hours. 

They got up, throwing away their long-gone coffee and moving to Remy’s car, “I really enjoyed hanging out,” Virgil said once they had reached his porch, rocking on his heels, “Thanks,” 

“No probs, babe,” Remy replied, quickly planting a kiss on Virgil’s cheek before walking back to his car. Virgil, blushing madly, opened the front door, and waved at Remy. Closing the door, Virgil walked into the living room, seeing his parents watching _The Corpse Bride_

“Hey!” Virgil exclaimed, seeing they were watching the movie without him. He winced when Roman startled, “Sorry,” Virgil muttered, frowning. 

Roman waved him off, before smiling, “How was it, stormcloud?” 

Thinking again of the kiss, Virgil blushed, mumbling, “Fine,” It was silent for a moment, before Roman’s smile widened. 

“Is that a blush I see, V?” Virgil looked away, shaking his head.

“Oh,” Logan said, sitting up, “ _I_ see,” 

Resisting the desire to make a joke about Logan’s eyesight, Virgil just muttered, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and started to walk upstairs.

“You can’t run from your feelings, Virgil,” Patton joked, making Virgil groan. 

“I hate you guys!” Virgil yelled, a hint of a smile in his voice. 

“Love you too!” Roman yelled back, smiling as he heard Virgil’s laughter from upstairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings  
> Arguing  
> Claims of hatred (???)  
> Mentions of unsympathetic Remus and Deceit  
> This chapter's pretty tame, but please let me know if I need to add anything else. Please stay safe, lovelies!!!
> 
> See ya next time!


	4. August 23rd, 2019 & October 21st, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the argument in August.
> 
> Remy's coming over for dinner. Virgil is freaking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details.

_ August 23rd, 2019: 4:57 PM _

_ “We should check on him,” Logan said, breaking the silence that had overtaken the house for the better part of an hour, “He may assume that we are mad at him. We… we should eat dinner, and talk this over.”  _

_ “We should order pizza,” Patton whispered, awed by his idea.  _

_ Roman, who had yet to speak since Virgil had left, smiled, shaking his head, “Yeah. Pizza sounds great Pat,”  _

_ Patton stood up started towards the stairs, mumbling, “Nobody’s able to resist the power of pizza!”  _

_ Logan, following behind Patton and Roman, turned to Roman, “Are you… alright?” _

_ Roman sighed, stopping in the hallway. He ran a hand through his hair and turned to Logan, “I don’t… I don’t know, Lo. I-we need to talk to Virgil first and… we can talk later, alright?”  _

_ Before Logan could respond, he was interrupted by Patton’s screaming. Logan and Roman rushed into Virgil’s room, only to find it empty. However, the door to Virgil’s bathroom was open. Having come to the same conclusion, Logan and Roman raced towards the bathroom. Upon entering they found Patton, crying, and Virgil lying on the floor, a bloodied razor blade in his hand, with a plethora of cuts and scars on his arms.  _

_ “Virgil!” Roman screamed as Virgil’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. He ran to his son, tears streaming down his face. Ignoring the sounds of Patton’s sobbing and Logan talking to the 911 operator, Roman cradled Virgil in his arms, whispering, “Please! Please be okay! You have to be okay! Virgil, Virgil, please, I love you,  _ we _ love you!” He would be okay. He  _ had  _ to be okay.  _

\----

_ October 21st, 2019: 3:24 PM _

“Father?” Virgil called from the living room, walking towards the downstairs office, where Logan was working. 

“Yes, Virgil?” Logan replied, spinning around in his office chair. Virgil tried to calm his rapidly beating heart, reminding himself that what he was asking for wasn’t even that big of a deal… probably.

“Um,” Virgil started, mouth suddenly dry, “Um my, I’m having trouble with math…” 

Logan quirked his head to the side, trying to understand where Virgil was going with this, “Would you like me to help you with it?” he asked, eyebrows furring when Virgil shook his head, curling into his hoodie. 

“Um… I was talking to Remy and… and he said he’s pretty good at math so I was wondering if, maybe, he could come over to help me?” Virgil was anxiously rocking on his heels, eyes trained on the carpet as he waited for Logan’s answer. 

Logan smiled softly, adjusting his glasses, “Of course Remy can come over Virge. In fact, why don’t you see if he wants to stay for dinner? If you want him to, of course,” 

Virgil looked surprised but nodded regardless, “Yeah, I um, yeah. I would like that. Thanks,” He stood there for another second before practically skipping out of the room, going to text Remy. Logan chuckled at Virgil’s eagerness and went to the group chat he had with his boyfriends.

**Logan-Berry: 3:26 PM**

_ Remy will be joining us for dinner. _

Had Remy  _ technically _ confirmed his attendance yet? No. But Logan had no doubt that he would say yes to Virgil’s offer. Besides, Logan had learned from Emile that Remy avoided late shifts at the coffee shop he worked at like the plague. 

**Patty-Cake: 3:26 PM**

_ HE IS!!!!????!?!?!  _

**Logan-Berry: 3:27 PM**

_ Yes, although I’m sure you could have portrayed your excitement with less punction, Patton.  _

**Patty-Cake: 3:27 PM**

_ But Lo that’s boringgggggggg _

**Logan-Berry: 3:28 PM**

_ You are going to give me an aneurysm _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:31 PM**

_ Sorry, we just finished up rehearsal. Why is Remy coming to dinner? _

**Patty-Cake: 3:31 PM**

_ Because Virgil looooooves him!!!  _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:32 PM**

_ Well, that is quite obvious _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:32 PM**

_ Any particular reason he’s coming over tonight? _

**Logan-Berry: 3:33 PM**

_ Remy is coming over to assist Virgil with his math work. I told him that he should invite Remy to dinner. He did.  _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:33 PM**

_... _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:34 PM**

_ Lo _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:34 PM**

_ You’re a math teacher _

**Logan-Berry: 3:34 PM**

_ That is correct. _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:34 PM**

_ And you had Virgil invite a friend over _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:34 PM**

_ To help him with his  _ **_math_ **

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:34 PM**

_ Instead of just helping him yourself??? _

**Logan-Berry: 3:34 PM**

_ That is also correct. _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:35 PM**

_??? _

**Logan-Berry: 3:36 PM**

_ This is the first time Remy will be ‘hanging out’ at our house. Virgil finds this a very big step in their relationship, and he was obviously nervous when he asked me if Remy could come over. I was not going to ruin that by refusing and helping him myself.  _

**Patty-Cake: 3:36 PM**

_ AWWWWWWW _

**Patty-Cake: 3:36 PM**

_ LOGAN THAT’S SO CUTE!!!!! _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:37 PM**

_ I love you so much _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:37 PM**

_ What did I do to deserve you two _

**Patty-Cake: 3:37 PM**

_ You existed  _

**Logan-Berry: 3:37 PM**

_ I must agree that your existence is quite pleasant.  _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:38 PM**

_ Well I should leave the theater if I ever wanna see your pretty faces in person _

**Prince of your Dreams: 3:38 PM**

_ I’ll see you soon my lovelies  _ 💙💙💙 __

**Patty-Cake: 3:37 PM**

_ I should be home soon too!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! _

Logan set his phone down, smiling. Tonight was going to go amazing, he could tell. 

\----

_ October 21st, 2019: 4:15 PM _

“Dad! I can’t find it!” Virgil called, rummaging through his parents’ closet. Roman sighed, climbing up the stairs. As he reached his closet, he found Virgil, frantically searching through the shelves for something. 

“Virgil,” Roman sighed, picking up the item in question; a light blue infinity scarf, made out of light, nearly see-through, material, that was covered in stars, “You have to calm down, my prince,” Virgil didn’t respond, instead, he turned away from Roman. Looking at his phone, Roman nodded to himself; they had enough time, “Let’s go lay down, okay little nightmare?” Virgil just nodded, hands gripping his elbows tightly. They walked to Virgil’s room (which was now spotless in anticipation of Remy) and lied on the floor, side by side. It was silent a moment before Virgil began to name the constellations on the ceiling. 

“Andromeda,” he said quietly, voice shaking, “Orion, Lyra… Virgo,” Roman heard a small puff of breath at the final constellation. It wasn’t much of a reaction, but it was still something. So on they went. Again and again, until there were no more constellations in the room left and Virgil began to name the ones he had memorized. After fifteen minutes of this, Roman stopped Virgil. 

“Remy will be here in fifteen minutes. I’ll let you get ready but we can talk later if you would like,” Virgil just nodded, letting Roman wipe off the tears that had made their way down his face. 

“Dad?” Virgil asked softly as Roman was about to walk out the door.

Roman turned around, “Yes, Virgil?” He said, surprised to see Virgil smiling up at him.

“I love you. A lot.” Roman smiled brightly; saying  _ I love you  _ had never been easy for him. He had come such a long way. They both had, together. 

“I love you a lot too stormcloud! Now, you better get dressed for dinner with your  _ boyfriend,”  _ Before Virgil could respond (other than splutters of denial), Roman shut the door, making his way downstairs.

Logan looked up from his book, eyebrows raised, “What happened? Are you guys okay?”

Roman sat himself next to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck, “Yeah. V had a minor freak out. He named constellations for fifteen minutes then I left him to get dressed,” 

Logan titled his head, confused, “What was this so-called, ‘freak out’ about?”

Roman blew a raspberry, pulling himself closer to Logan, “Remy. This is the first friend he’s really had since… you know and he’s worrying himself sick about it. I told him we could talk later, if he wanted,”

“I hope he takes you up on that offer,” Logan said, starring at Roman, seriously. 

“Yeah,” Roman said, “Me too,” It was silent for a moment before Roman sat up and looked Logan in the eye, “Thank you for the stars, Logan. I feel like I don’t say it enough, but they’ve helped both of us so much. And Virgil adores them, and adores you, just like I do,” 

Logan blushed, turning his head away and adjusting his glasses as he cleared his throat, “I… of course Roman. I… adore you too,” 

“You’re so cute when your flustered,” Roman joked, laughing when Logan began turning redder. Before Logan could respond, Roman leaned in and kissed him, giggling when Logan’s blush grew darker. They kissed for a few minutes before Roman deepened the kiss and Logan moaned. Suddenly, the front door opened, startling Roman enough for him to fall off of Logan’s lap, nearly onto the floor.

“Roman?” Logan asked, peering down at him worriedly. 

“I’m fine,” Roman smiled, “Just startled me,”

“I did?” Patton asked voice burdened with shame, “I’m sorry honey, I was just excited to see you guys…” Patton looked like a scolded puppy, eyes wide with regret. 

“Hey, hey, no Pat, I’m fine. I was just… distracted,” He said, looking at Logan, who turned away from the glance with (another) blush on his face. 

Patton looked back and forth between the two of them, before making an  _ O _ shape with his mouth, “I get it!” He said happily, “You two were-”

“You do not need to explain, Patton!” Logan interrupted hurriedly, adjusting his tie. 

“But-” Whatever Patton was going to say was cut off by the doorbell. The three looked at each other: Remy was here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Accidental suicide attempt (Not descriptive)  
> Aftermath of cutting (Not descriptive)  
> Small panic attack  
> Slight making out (Not descriptive) 
> 
> Oof. Did not mean for that ending to sound so ominous but whatever
> 
> Hey!  
> For those of you who don’t know I currently have another two Sander’s Sides books that I’m currently writing. That’s right, two! Up until yesterday, I only had one other book (a LAMP kingdom AU in which I am very mean to Virgil) uploaded here but, I decided I would upload my first LAMP book (A college AU in which I am very mean to Virgil) from Wattpad here. So if you are interested, check them out! And if those aren’t you’re cup of tea, awesome! Thanks for reading this one! Have a good day/night/whatever and I hope you have some great holidays!


	5. August 24th, 2019 & October 30th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil's in the hospital...
> 
> Virgil panics and Remy comes over for a sleepover (Part 1 of 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the ending notes for more details.
> 
> Please check the trigger warnings!!! This is an angsty chapter, both in the flashbacks and in the present times. 
> 
> In other news... I bet you thought you were getting to see what happened at dinner... don't worry, you'll find out what happens that night... eventually (it's nothing bad, so don't worry)
> 
> Please enjoy!

_ August 24th, 2019: 5:42 AM _

_ “They put you on suicide watch,” Roman said from next to the hospital bed. Virgil, who had just woken up, snapped his head over, looking at Roman. Virgil didn’t respond, instead turning to look at his lap, “The doctors said that they weren’t sure if you would make it. You had lost so much blood that they didn’t know if you could pull through,” Virgil said nothing, bringing his knees up to his chin, “I thought,” Roman choked, suppressing his sobs, “I thought I was going to lose you,” Virgil tensed, looking over to Roman.  _

_ “Why do you fucking care?” Virgil asked, voice shaking, and raw, “Why would it have fucking mattered if I died,” Roman’s heart broke, tears finally making their way down his face. _

_ “It matters because I love you, Virgil,” Roman whispered, frowning when Virgil flinched, “I know that after everything I’ve done, it’s hard for you to accept this but, I love you, Virgil, I love you so much and I would do anything for you to believe me,” _

_ “Stop!” Virgil cried, “Stop lying to me!”  _

_ “Virgil…” Roman said softly, “I’m not lying. I love you, and nothing you say or do will ever,  _ ever _ change that.”  _

\----

_ October 30th, 2019: 4:12 PM _

“No!” Virgil screamed when Roman tried to approach him, “No! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please!” As much as he wanted to help Virgil, Roman needed to stop and figure out what set Virgil off, and how to help him. Roman took a deep breath and thought through what could have happened: Roman had heard a crash from the kitchen, so he went downstairs in order to see what happened. Virgil was having a flashback or a panic attack on the kitchen floor. That crash had most likely been what set him off. Roman looked around, attempting to find the source of the crash. Then he saw it: broken porcelain laid on the floor of the back corner of the sink. Virgil must have dropped a plate. Roman slowly walked to the fridge to grab an ice-cube, making sure to walk as far away from Virgil as he could. After grabbing an ice-cube, he slowly made his way to Virgil before crouching before him. Virgil flinched, burrowing deeper into his hood. Roman slowly extended his hand to grab Virgil’s, frowning when he sobbed. 

Closing Virgil’s hand around the ice-cube, and holding his other hand within his own, Roman began to softly speak, “Can you hear me, Virge? Can you squeeze my hand if you can hear me?” It took a few more minutes before Virgil was able to squeeze Roman’s hand, Roman smiling softly when he did, “Good Virge! When you’re ready, could you tell me five things you feel?”

It was a few more minutes before Virgil croaked out, “Floor, you, hoodie, cabinet, jeans,” 

Roman smiled, squeezing Virgil’s hand, “You’re doing so good sweetheart! How about four things you can see?” 

“Um,” Virgil stuttered, eyes darting around the room, “Um- I,” 

“Take your time, honey,” Roman confirmed, “There’s no need to rush,”

“Okay, um,” Virgil started, taking a deep breath, “I see you, the fridge, the light, and um… my feet?” Virgil, unsure, looked to Roman.

“Perfect, sweetie! How about three things you can hear?”

Virgil closed his eyes, trying to focus on his surroundings, “The ice machine in the fridge, the, um, the birds outside, and the dishwasher,” 

Roman rubbed the back of Virgil’s hand with his thumb, smile growing, “You’re doing so, so good Virge! Two things you can smell?”

“Um, the-the cookies Papa made earlier and the… the cleaner we used for the kitchen,” Virgil’s voice was still shaking, but he looked more relaxed than he had before.

“You’re almost done V. Can you tell me one thing you can taste?” 

“Um” Virgil screwed his eyes shut, trying to focus, “My chapstick,” Virgil was still for a second before he jumped forward into Roman’s arms, “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Roman’s neck, “I didn’t mean to, I-I just-”

Roman shushed Virgil gently, cradling his neck and rocking him, “Don’t work yourself into a panic there, little nightmare, it’s okay. You didn’t mean to drop the plate, and even if you did, you’d still be okay” 

“Okay,” Virgil muttered softly, “Okay, okay, okay,” 

“I’m going to stand up now,” Roman warned, maneuvering Virgil so Roman could grab him bridal style. Moving them over to the couch, Roman hugged Virgil and began rubbing his back. The silence was interrupted by Virgil’s phone buzzing in his hoodie pocket. Virgil twisted in Roman’s arms, moving to get his phone. When Virgil saw the text, he immediately burst into tears, beginning to hyperventilate again.

“Woah,” Roman exclaimed, cradling Virgil’s face in his hands, “Slow down there, Stormcloud, what’s going on?” 

“I forgot!” Virgil cried, “I-I didn’t. I-”

“Okay,” Roman stated, “Let’s start with your breathing, okay? 4-7-8” After a few rounds of breathing exercises Virgil thrust his phone into Roman’s face.

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:42 PM_ **

_ Hey babes U still coming??? _

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:45 PM_ **

_ V? _

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:46 PM_ **

_ You’re kinda freaking me out _

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:46 PM_ **

_ What’s goin on _

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:46 PM_ **

_ Should I call you??? _

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:46 PM_ **

_ V _

**Remy✨** 🖤 **:** **_4:47 PM_ **

_ Please answer me _

“We were supposed to get coffee,” Virgil said, hands shaking as he grabbed the phone back from Roman, “I forgot. He’s gonna be mad. I-I,” 

“Virgil,” Roman said softly, “He’s not mad. He’s obviously worried about you. How about we call Remy and tell him about whatever you feel comfortable telling him, okay?” Virgil sniffed, nodding as he rubbed his eyes. Roman opened Virgil’s phone and pressed on the call icon on Remy’s contact. 

It had barely started to ring before Remy picked up, voice frantic, “You good babes? I thought you might’ve died or something,” Remy laughed, but the panic in his voice was clear.

“Remy?” Roman said, “This is Roman. I’m with Virgil, you’re on speaker,”

“Is... are you okay, V?” Remy asked quickly. Virgil opened his mouth to answer only to find he didn’t know what to say.

“One moment, Remy,” Roman said, before muting himself, “What do you want me to tell him?” Roman asked softly, rubbing a hand on Virgil’s back. 

Virgil, biting his thumbnail, furrowed his eyebrows before reaching for his phone. Opening the notes app he typed, ‘ _ tell him I had a panic attack a bit before we were supposed to meet up then I forgot and tell him sorry but can we reschedule’  _ Roman nodded before going back to the phone, “Remy?” He asked.

“Still here,” Remy confirmed, sounding anxious as he waited for Roman to continue speaking. 

“Virgil was having a panic attack when you two were supposed to be meeting up, and that’s why he wasn’t there. He apologizes but wants to know if you can reschedule,”

Remy was quiet for a few moments before some shuffling was heard and his voice rang out, “ _ Honey _ ,” He said softly **,** “I… of course we can reschedule Virge! But, I know that panic attacks suck ass,” Virgil giggled into Roman’s shoulder, everything sounding even more dramatic with Remy’s accent, “So, if you would like, I can come over with a shit-ton of junk food and a shit-ton of movies and we can just chill for the rest of the night. Maybe make it a sleepover? Only if that’s something you think would help you. If you don’t want to, let me know and I’ll leave you to rest,” 

Virgil looked at Roman, obviously interested, “It’s fine by me,” Roman said, “And we would be able to keep the kiddos from bothering you guys, ” Virgil thought for a few moments before nodding, “Virgil says yes,” 

“Alright, doll! I’ll get everything so you just relax and don’t worry your pretty little head about anything! And if you change your mind, just text me. I’ll see you soon, mwah!” Remy promptly hung up, leaving behind a red-faced Virgil and a giggling Roman. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Flashback (from the POV of a different character than the one experiencing it)  
> Panic attack (from the POV of a different character than the one experiencing it)  
> Mentions of suicide  
> Fear of death  
> Panic  
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE
> 
> One of my readers from my book Songbird recommended adding funny warnings about each chapter into the end notes. I thought it was a great idea, especially since my books can get real angsty and those would be a good way to finish off the chapter. So, Minnowshadow, these are for you!
> 
> "Warnings"   
> Roman being a dad in shining armour  
> Absent Logan and Patton   
> Real fuckin' southern Remy  
> Anxious Virgil  
> Blushy Virgil  
> Quality famILY time
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The next chapter will be the rest of the sleepover! See you then


	6. July 17th, 2018, October 21st, 2019, & October 30th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil needs to talk to Roman...
> 
> Roman has a request to make before Remy comes over for dinner...
> 
> Halloween sleepover (Part 1!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details
> 
> Bleghhhhhhhh: Writers block! :( 
> 
> In other news, I'm finally 16! I don't get my license until May though soooooo, it's not that different than being 15
> 
> I promise that you'll actually get more of the sleepover, next chapter!

_ July 17th, 2018: 7:07 AM _

_ “Virgil?” Roman asked, “Virgil?” He tried again, kneeling down next to the couch where Virgil was laying. Despite the fact that Virgil’s eyes were open, he didn’t respond. It was then that Roman realized that there were tears streaming down Virgil’s face, “Woah,” Roman said, taken aback: Virgil had only cried in front of Roman once, and that was a long,  _ long _ , time ago, “I… Virgil what’s going on?” _

_ It was silent for a few moments before Virgil sniffed, scrunching his eyes shut as more tears came down his face, “Roman,” he said quietly, voice rough and desperate, “I need to tell you something.”  _

\----

_ October 30th, 2019: 5:09 PM _

“How do we look kiddo?” Patton asked, twirling around in order to show off his costume. Virgil hummed around his fingernail, moving forward to adjust each of their outfits.

“Virgil,” Logan said quietly, “You have no reason to worry. Our costumes look spectacular,”

“Besides,” Roman chimed in, “It’s not like we’ll be leaving the front porch!” Virgil nodded, taking a step back to look at their costumes one final time. Roman’s deep red hair had been gelled in a way that created a large swoop of hair above his forehead. He was currently shirtless, sans a purple waistcoat, and had an (in his words) marvelous green ‘tail’ that, in reality, was a long skirt Virgil had fitted in order to give it the effect of a tail. Patton stood next to Roman, holding Roman and Logan’s hands, and was wearing a long-sleeved yellow and blue striped shirt along with some yellow tights under a bright blue tutu that matched his wig, an old pair of glasses painted a bright yellow. Logan was without his normal glasses, instead opting for contacts as to, “Stay as accurate as possible to the source”. His black hair was styled in a way similar to Roman’s, with the section above his forehead gelled to swoop upwards. His plain white shirt (handmade by Virgil) was tucked into his dark blue slacks. Despite the fact that they would not be leaving the front porch, Logan had insisted on wearing his black dress shoes, completing the look. 

Virgil nodded once more, walking forward and carefully hugging Roman. Roman kissed his forehead, “They look perfect, Stormcloud!” he exclaimed.

“Are you sure they’re not to… obscure?” Virgil asked, assessing their costumes again. 

“Virgil, it’s  _ The Little Mermaid _ . I don’t know how much more well known you could get,”

“Okay,” Virgil said quietly, “I just… okay,” 

“The children will begin arriving soon, we should vacate to the front porch so we are ready for them,” Logan said, giving Virgil a reassuring smile. 

\----

_ October 21st, 2019: 3:53 PM _

_ “V?” Roman asked, stopping Virgil as he walked down the hallway. Virgil hummed, turning around to face Roman, “I… I would like you to keep your bedroom door open when Remy’s here. It’s-it’s not because I don’t trust you, hell, it’s not even because I don’t trust Remy, I just… I need to know your safe, okay?”  _

_ Virgil nodded, moving to hug his dad, “Okay,” He said, squeezing tighter, “Thank you,” _

_ Roman smiled into Virgil’s hair, “Of course, my prince,” _

\----

_ October 30th, 2019: 5:13 PM _

Virgil jolted as the front door opened. He relaxed again when he saw Remy walk into the house, a few plastic bags in his hand. When he saw Virgil, he smiled, “Hey babe!” He dropped the bags on the coffee table and sat on the couch, making sure to give Virgil some space, “How ya doin’?” Remy asked, concerned. Virgil shrugged, slowly sitting up and scooting closer to Remy, “Yeah,” Remy sighed, “I feel that,” It was quiet before Remy reached for the bags, startling Virgil. Remy winced and Virgil shrunk into his hoodie, “I’m really sorry honey, I’ll try to move slower,” Virgil just nodded, cheeks burning in shame. 

Remy began pulling items out of the bags; hot chocolate, marshmallows, chips, water, chocolate, and jelly beans came out of the first bag, being laid out on the table. Remy then reached into the second bag, pulling out face masks, nail polish, essential oils, and a small metal canister that Virgil couldn’t read the label of, “I’ve also got  _ Netflix _ and _ Disney+  _ on my computer to watch,” He said, “So, what would you like to do, sweetie?” He asked, turning to Virgil, only to find him crying, “Honey! What’s wrong, what can I do?” Remy asked, panicked.

Virgil sniffed, reaching for his phone and beginning to type. He turned the phone to Remy as he wiped his tears.  _ This is so sweet Remy. I’m just overwhelmed I think.  _ Remy  _ awed _ , smiling at Virgil, “No prob, Hon! Go ahead and look at everything and let me know if you want to do any of them!” Virgil smiled softly as he started to rifle through the many objects on the table.  _ Yeah _ , he thought,  _ I think I might be okay _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning   
> (Very vague) Fear of non-con/rape/sexual assault (happening to another person)  
> Implications of previous abuse  
> I think that's it! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE!!! Stay safe!
> 
> Sorry the chapters are so small, but I personally prefer to release shorter chapters at a more consistent rate
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


	7. July 18th, 2018 & October 30th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman's glad Virgil told him, even if it means moving...
> 
> The sleepover (Part 2!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Please check the end notes for more details

_ July 18th, 2018: 8:52 AM _

_ “I’m sorry,” Virgil said, arms wrapped tightly around his middle, “I know you really loved this job.”  _

_ Roman sighed, turning to face Virgil, “Virgil… please stop apologizing,” Virgil curled father into his hoodie, nearly flinching at the cold tone. _

_ “We-we don’t have to move!” He stuttered, hands gripping his hoodie sleeves, “I- you’re happy here! Just forget I said anything and just- please!” Virgil begged, tears burning his eyes, “Please…”  _

_ “Virgil…” Roman said softly, setting his computer to the side, “I’m upset, but, not at you. And, this isn’t just about me. You have a life too. And I want you to live it, in the best way you can. And you can’t do that here,”  _

_ Virgil deflated, slumping into the couch, “I… I shouldn’t have told you. I’m ruining your life because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut!” _

_ “No!” Roman exclaimed sitting up, reaching his hands towards Virgil, “No, Virgil. You are so,  _ so _ , brave for telling me and it must have been so hard but, you did it anyway. And I am so proud of you,” Tears were flowing down Virgil’s face, his eyes clenched shut. Roman slowly put his hand on Virgil’s knee. He jolted but didn’t pull away, instead, leaning slightly towards Roman, “What Remus did… wasn’t okay at all V. And you were so strong for telling me. But I’m your guardian. It’s my job to protect you. And if that means moving again, so be it. Besides, Virgil, you mean more to me than any job ever could,”  _

_ Virgil launched forwards to hug Roman, hiccuping into his shirt. Roman kissed Virgil’s forehead, holding him tight. He wanted to tell Virgil that if anybody, ever, ever dare lay a hand on Virgil again, they would regret it. But that’s not what Virgil needed to hear. Right now, he needed a father. An actual father who didn’t scare him, or hurt him, a father who loved him. And that’s what Roman would be. No matter how long it took Virgil to see him in that way.  _

\----

_ October 30th, 2019: 7:34 PM _

Virgil startled awake, tensing in Remy’s arms. Remy frowned, “Virge?” he asked and Virgil turned to look at Remy, blinking owlishly at him. Virgil furrowed his eyebrows, staring at Remy. Then, he slowly brought up a hand to Remy’s face, cradling it. The other boy, confused, smiled slightly, “You okay, honey?” he asked, and Virgil hummed in response, cuddling closer to Remy while continuing to hold his face, “You wanna go back to sleep?” Remy questioned quietly, not wanting to disturb Virgil anymore than he had to. Virgil shook his head before using the hand not holding Remy’s face to point to the TV, where the credits of  _ The Nightmare Before Christmas _ were running, “You wanna watch somethin’,” Remy guessed, smiling when Virgil nodded, “What do you wanna watch, doll?” Remy asked, handing the remote to Virgil, who pulled the hand on Remy’s face away in order to use the remote. He scrolled through Netflix until clicking on  _ The Little Mermaid.  _ Remy raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment instead, choosing to adjust Virgil and himself so they could see better. Virgil ended up in Remy’s lap, head lying against his chest. 

They were a few minutes into the movie when Virgil spoke, “Thank you,” He said quietly, still focused on the movie. 

“Nothin’ to thank me for, babe,” Remy replied, squeezing Virgil in his arms. Something Virgil had learned very early on in their friendship was that Remy was a very touchy person, but would avoid touching if it made a person uncomfortable. Virgil liked the touches, most of the time. When Virgil couldn’t handle touch (which had only happened a few times during the duration of their friendship) Remy was respectful of that and avoided touching him anyway, shape or form. Virgil appreciated that more than Remy could know. 

An hour and a half later, Roman, Patton, and Logan walked inside to find their son cuddled against his friend, sleeping soundlessly.  _ The Little Mermaid  _ was on the TV, stopped at the end. Patton squealed, as Logan moved a nearby blanket over them. Roman smiled, pressing a small kiss to his son’s forehead, before moving upstairs to join his boyfriends. 

_ They love each other,  _ Roman thought as reached his bedroom, looking lovingly at his own boyfriends currently having a pillow fight on the bed.  _ Even if it is just platonic, Remy and Virgil really love each other.  _ Roman swallowed heavily, wondering,  _ how the fuck am I supposed to protect Virgil now?  _ Roman took a breath, before walking to the bed. It would be fine. Virgil had been damaged too many times to be hurt again. Even though Roman knew that that wasn’t how the world worked, he forced himself to believe the thought as he got ready for bed. Virgil  _ couldn’t _ be hurt again. If he was, Roman wasn’t sure if he would survive.  _ But _ , Roman thought as he stared the ceiling,  _ Remy wouldn’t hurt Virgil like that… right?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:   
> (Mention of) Unsympathetic Remus  
> (Implications of) Assault/abuse  
> Victim blaming (Victim blaming themselves)  
> (Mention of) Not being able to handle touch   
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE!!!
> 
> I'm so fucking sorry. I don't really know what the fuck is happening, but every chapter for all 3 of the works I'm writing right now have been giving me hell. I'm sorry it's so short. I hope whatever's going on stops soon because I really enjoy writing for you guys, and I hate updating with small chapters not that often. Bleghhh.
> 
> Thanks for reading! And thank you for all your patience. I really appreciate it! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡


	8. November 13th, 2019 & February 17th, 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy asks Virgil something, and Virgil doesn't take it to well...
> 
> Remus asks Virgil something, and Virgil declines. Remus doesn't take it to well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. Please check the end note for more details.
> 
> Please check the trigger warning if you feel like you may need to! This is the angstiest chapter yet!
> 
> We doin' the dates backwards this time! For dramatic effect (oooohhh, ahhhh)

_ November 13th, 2019: 4:52 PM _

“Virgil?” Remy asked, setting his controller onto the coffee table, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“Yeah, Rem?” Virgil responded, still focused on the TV. 

“I need to tell you something,” That got Virgil’s attention as he paused the game and set down his own controller, before turning to Remy. Seeing the look on Virgil’s face, Remy exclaimed, “It’s nothing bad! I just want to talk to you!” Virgil nodded, drumming his fingers on his thighs, “Can you look at me, Virge?” Remy asked softly. Virgil nodded and slowly looked up, giving Remy an awkward half-smile. Remy smiled back, taking a deep breath before speaking, “Virgil… I know our friendship hasn’t been the longest, but I feel like we bonded with each other quickly. And, we shared a lot with each other. You’re such an amazing person, V! I really like you, and I would like to be your boyfriend… if that’s something you want,” Virgil was silent. Remy felt his heart sinking, “Virge?” He questioned softly, frowning when Virgil gave no indication of hearing Remy. “Virgil?” Remy asked, moving a hand to touch his shoulder. 

And then… Virgil  _ screamed.  _ Remy jumped backward, moving to get away from Virgil. It didn’t seem to matter though, as Virgil continued to scream, hands buried in his hair. It only took a moment before Remy heard footsteps pounding down the stairs. Roman was the first to arrive, moving towards Virgil before turning his head to Remy. 

“What the fuck did you do?” He asked, hands shaking. Remy stuttered, no actual words leaving his lips, “What did you do?” Roman yelled again. It was then that Remy realized that he wasn’t accusing Remy, instead wanting to know what happened.

“Remy,” Logan said, him and Patton having arrived sometime when Roman was yelling, “What happened?” Despite sounding composed, Remy could see his shaking hands as he adjusted his glasses. 

“I-” Remy stumbled, running a hand through his hair, knocking his sunglasses off, “I asked him out! And then he was just sitting there, spacing out, and I-I touched his shoulder and he started screaming!” 

Logan and Patton exchanged looks before Logan moved to the kitchen and Patton ran back upstairs. Remy, unsure of what to do, moved to the kitchen table, not wanting to disturb anyone. Remy watched for what felt like hours as Patton, Roman, and Logan hovered around Virgil, like bees buzzing in their hive. Virgil had stopped screaming at some point although, it was quickly replaced with senseless muttering. Eventually, that stopped too, the only sounds being Roman’s voice and the footsteps of all three men. 

Remy very quickly got sick of sitting and doing nothing so, he went to the kitchen and got a glass of water for Virgil, assuming his throat must hurt from all the screaming. When he walked into the living room, Logan, Patton, and Roman were all fluttering around Virgil, blocking him from Remy. Remy cleared his throat and the three turned to him, Virgil’s eyes looking up for a moment before he resumed looking at Roman’s chest, “Water,” Remy said, breaking the silence, “For Virgil.” Logan nodded, taking the water from Remy and giving it to Virgil. Virgil slowly drank the entire glass, giving it back to Logan when he was done. 

Remy, satisfied, began to grab his stuff. He paused, however, when he heard Virgil, “Thank you,” He said to Remy, sniffling. 

Remy, surprised at Virgil addressing him, smirked, “Nothin’ to thank me for, darlin’.” 

Virgil gave a small smile before Remy continued to grab his stuff. As he began to head towards the door, Virgil stopped him, “Remy?” he asked.

Remy stopped, turning slowly to face Virgil, “Yeah, hon?” he asked, as softly as he could.

“Are… are we still good to have coffee on Friday?” Virgil asked, voice low and vulnerable. 

Remy melted, giving Virgil a smile and replying, “Yeah doll, I’ll see you Friday.” Virgil nodded, relaxing against the couch. Remy walked out the door, smiling softly as the weight in his chest dissipated. They were okay. No matter what happened, Virgil and him would be okay.

\----

_ February 17th, 2018 _

_ “I need to tell you something,” Remus said, tone cold. Virgil turned to face him, eyes wide. Remus snickered at Virgil’s panic, rolling his eyes, “Oh calm down, will ya? I ain’t kill you… yet,” Virgil shoved Remus, causing him to laugh even harder, laying half upsidedown on the couch, “Like, actually, though, I need to tell you something,” Remus said, sitting up and looking at Virgil.  _

_ “Shoot,” Virgil said, resting his face on his hand. _

_ “Virgil. I really like you. And I know you really like me. I want to start dating,” Virgil blinked, waiting for Remus to exclaim “Just kidding!” or “Happy early April fools!” but instead he sat there as Remus stared at him, until Virgil realized that Remus was serious.  _

_ “Remus, I…” Virgil started, trying to find a way to break the news to Remus, “You’re my best friend, Remus. Don’t get me wrong, I love being friends with you! But… I just don’t feel the same way. I’m really sorry Re,”  _

_Virgil watched as Remus scanned his face, eye twitching, “You’re-” Remus began, voice shaking, “You’re joking, right?” Virgil just silently shook his head_ no _. Remus’s hands were trembling as they brushed away his hair, “Virgil, don’t-don’t play dumb!” Virgil had begun to talk, attempting to placate Remus when he shoved Virgil, violently, “I know you feel the same way, Virgil! Is this some sort of sick game to you? I-you can’t just make me suffer like this!” Virgil backed away from Remus, standing up quickly before moving towards the door, wanting to leave.“I didn’t want it to come to this, Virgil, but you’ve forced my hand,” Virgil didn’t have time to question what Remus meant before a newspaper clipping was thrust at him. Virgil peered at the title and gasped:_ **Drug Dealer and Alleged Murderer Harvey Nathair Will Serve 6 Months Jail Time.** _Virgil_ _dropped it to the floor beside him, the paper flittering before hitting the ground._

_ “I know,” Remus said, startling Virgil so bad he tripped over his own feet and landed painfully on the ground, “I know everything...  _ **_Agni_ ** _ ,” Virgil sobbed when he heard his birth name, every terrible memory attached to it flittering into his subconscious, “And,” Remus said, kneeling next to Virgil, “If you don’t fucking date me…” he grabbed Virgil’s chin tightly, “The entire school finds out.” _

_ “No!” Virgil sobbed, his body trembling to bad he nearly fell into Remus’s chest, “Please no! Don’t,” Virgil couldn’t believe this was happening; ten minutes ago, he was hanging out with his best friend. Now… _

_ “You just need to do one, simple thing, and nobody will ever know!” Remus exclaimed, much to joyfully.  _

_ “What?” Virgil sniffled, heart aching.  _

“Kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Flashback (from an outside perspective)  
> Yelling  
> Panic  
> Gaslighting  
> Blackmail  
> Implication of non-consensual kissing  
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE!!!
> 
> Wait. What's that I hear? Could it be the angst train, pulling into the Virgil station? Probably. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this double update! Thank you so much for reading!


	9. November 15th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Remy talk about Wednesday.
> 
> (Tooth rotting fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings beside a small mention of a bad (romantic) relationship! Enjoy this chapter that I definitely haven’t been working on since fucking January.... anyways, I started a discord server for my fics: https://discord.com/invite/7bE8znR  
> Feel free to join if you’re interested, the link doesn’t expire!

_ November 15th, 2019: 2:34 PM _

Virgil brought his hand up to his face, chewing lightly on his thumbnail. He had arrived 15 minutes earlier, and was seated in the corner booth that had quickly become Remy and Virgil’s spot whenever they visited the small coffee shop. Remy had assured him multiple times that the location and time of their meetup hadn’t changed since Wednesday. Still, as Virgil checked the time once more, he wondered if Remy had changed his mind. When Remy finally walked in the door two minutes later, Virgil breathed a sigh of relief. “Hey babe,” Remy said, plopping down to Virgil’s right, “Sorry I’m late. There was a crazy accident near home, I had to take a wild detour to get here,” 

Virgil took a breath, reminding himself that _ everything was okay _ and that  _ Remy was there _ before speaking, “‘s okay Rem, ‘m just glad you made it.” It was quiet for a moment before Remy cleared his throat, Virgil taking a sip of his tea (he was too anxious for caffeine).

“So…” Remy started, rubbing his neck, “I just wanted to apologize about what happened on Wednesday. I’m so sorry.”

“Re-” Virgil interrupted but Remy stopped him, shaking his head.

“No Virge,” he said softly, “I need to tell you this, okay?” Virgil just nodded, frowning and hunching over slightly. Remy continued regardless, “I want to say that it will never happen again but, I can’t promise that.” Suddenly, Remy grabbed something out of his bag, sliding it over to Virgil. It was a notebook, opened onto a page divided into two columns: labeled triggers, and how to help.

“What is this?” Virgil questioned, looking at the blank page.

“It’s so that I can help you, hun!” Remy exclaimed, “On the left you write your triggers, and on the other side you write what helps you with those triggers, so that if we ever have another incident like Wednesday, I can find a way to help you. Especially because I can’t always have contact with your dads. Is that okay hun?” Remy asked, hands clasped within each other. 

“Oh-“ Virgil said, voice cracking, “I mean, yeah, I, yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Um. Thanks,” Virgil said, blushing, “Um, I’ll just start, doing, working on this. Yeah.” Virgil grabbed a pen as he addimently avoided eye contact with Remy. After a few seconds of silence interrupted only by Virgil’s fingers tapping the table, Remy sighed.

“Virgil, are we okay? You’re obviously uncomfortable around me and I can’t help but feel like I royally fucked up on Wednesday. Do…” Remy hesitated, “Would you rather we not hang out anymore?” He asked sincerely, looking at Virgil.

“No! that’s not, no I-.” Remy raised an eyebrow, unconvinced “I just… it’s just, my, no-”

Remy exhaled slowly nodding, “It’s fine, you don’t have to lie, Virgil. I’ll go.” Remy quickly grabbed his bag and made to leave, only stopping when Virgil grabbed his hand.

“Remy, will you just, just listen to me?” Virgil said obviously agitated, “Please?” Remy sat back down, face blank. Virgil cleared his throat, muttering something under his breath. 

“What was that, hun?” Remy asked, unsure if he was supposed to have heard the comment. Virgil murmured quietly again, not meeting Remy’s eye. Remy’s face softened as he said, “just one more time, a little louder, Virge?” 

Virgil inhaled shakily, licking his lips, “I…” he started, squeezing his hands into fists, “ _ I wanna be your boyfriend! _ ” Virgil rushed, eyes squeezed shut. 

“What?” Remy questioned after Virgil had remained silent for a few moments. 

As if a dam had opened, Virgil suddenly began speaking quickly, “I wanna be your boyfriend! And-and go on dates and all that shit. I-I just, I just panicked because my brain is an  _ idiot _ and I thought you would hate me and I, I didn’t, I-“

“Woah,” Remy interrupted, presently ignoring the fact that  _ Virgil had just admitted he wanted to date Remy  _ andfocusing instead on trying to slow Virgil’s panic, “Hey pumpkin, it’s okay, I promise it’s okay, can you just take some deep breaths with me?” Virgil stuttered in a breath, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he wheezed. 

“Sorry.” Virgil whispered once he had regained control over his breathing. 

Remy shook his head fondly, smiling a bit, “No need to apologize, hun. Let’s try this again, huh?” For a split, panic-inducing second, Virgil was afraid Remy wanted him to explain everything  _ again  _ which would, no doubt, cause another panic attack. But then, Remy spoke against, voice calm and clear, “So, you  _ do _ feel the same way I do? You want to be in a romantic relationship?” 

Virgil nodded, appreciative of the clear, curt question. Remy frowned a little, continuing, “Alright, so, if you feel the same way as me, can I ask why you panicked so much on Wednesday? I assumed it was because you were worried about me pushing for a relationship, or something similar, but that doesn’t seem to be it.” It was silent for a few moments before Remy continued, “You don’t have too if you don’t want to pumpkin! We can talk about something else.”

Virgil shrugged, attempting to act nonchalant, “It’s fine… the short story is that, well, I was in a relationship once… it didn’t end well… or start well… it really wasn’t… good.” Virgil winced at how vague he sounded.

“I’m sorry, V.” Remy said, frowning, “That fucking sucks.” 

Virgil shrugged once more, hands pulling at his hoodie strings, “‘s fine. I just… when you said… you know,” Virgil blushed, looking away from Remy, “I panicked. It really wasn’t you. It was just… the situation, I guess.” 

Remy still looked slightly unsure, but nodded muttering an, “that’s okay, hun” before moving on. “So,” he stated, looking at Virgil, “Would you like to be my boyfriend? Or would you want to stay as friends? Because we can do whatever you feel comfortable with honey! We could also just wait and—”

“Remy.” Virgil interrupted with a half smile, huffing, “Calm down. Panicking is my thing, remember?” Remy rolled his eyes, flipping Virgil off. In response, Virgil stuck his tongue out. Both of them smiled, looking at each other. Virgil blushed when Remy smiled at him, a smile of his own creeping on his face. “I would love to be your boyfriend,” Virgil said suddenly, surprising Remy, “Right now. I mean, not this exact moment, but like starting today…” Virgil refused to look Remy in the eye, blushing madly. 

“Vee?” Remy said softly and  _ fuck  _ Virgil couldn’t just  _ not  _ look at him after Remy said his name like that. Virgil was startled when he saw the sheer amount of adoration on Remy’s face, all for him. Virgil nearly cried. “I would  _ love _ to be your boyfriend, starting right now.” 

“Oh,” Virgil said, laughing a bit, “Okay.” It was silent for a few more moments before Virgil felt the awkwardness begin to sink in, “Um,” he started, clearing his throat, “What do we do now?” He asked uncertainly. 

Remy laughed a little bit, smiling at the boy across from him. “You,” he started, bumping a finger against Virgil’s nose, “can fill this out,” Remy said, once again sliding the open notebook to Virgil, “And I,” Remy smiled, grabbing his backpack, “Can finish my god forsaken English homework.” Virgil laughed, but remained confused; this was no different than what they would do before all of this…. was Remy just attempting to not overwhelm Virgil? After a moment of blankly staring at the notebook, however, Remy slowly grabbed Virgil’s hand in his, not looking away from his work. “ _ Oh”  _ Virgil thought  _ “Oh!”  _ Virgil blushed but didn’t move his hand.  _ “This is nice,” _ Virgil decided, jotting down his triggers into the notebook, focusing on the feeling of Remy’s hand in his,  _ “I could get used to this.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the patience with this, I really appreciate it!  
> Love ya guys!  
> -Apollo/AJ


	10. June 26th, 2015 & November 24th 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman meets a little boy by the name of Agni...
> 
> Remy makes thanksgiving plans with the Sanders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: please check the end note for more details.
> 
> Supriseeeeeeeeee  
> As of right now, I’m going to be attempting to update this story every other week, alternating with my other book Songbird. I didn’t want to say anything just in case something happened. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

_June 26th, 2015_ _  
_ _Roman moaned as Harvey slammed him against the door, both quickly moving to continue making out. Roman draped his arms around Harvey’s neck, and moaned when Harvey deepened the kiss. However, Roman was pulled from the moment when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. “What the fuck is that?” Roman yelled, moving away from Harvey. In an instant, Harvey’s face had darkened, and he growled, turning to face the corridor Roman had seen something in._

_“Agni you get your ass over here right now,” It was a moment before a boy slowly walked out, hunched over and wearing a small, tartan hoodie. He was tiny, but didn’t seem young. His dark skin and hair made him stand out against the (quite frankly,_ hideous _) yellow walls. The bags under his eyes were remarkably large for him only appearing to be 10 or 11. “What the fuck did I tell you?” Harvey spoke, clearly angry despite the quiet volume of the question. When the boy didn’t respond, Harvey grabbed the boy’s forearm in a tight grip. The boy mumbled something, glancing at Roman, before looking back to his feet. Harvey frowned, gripping onto his arm tighter, “Speak up!” He said, looking the boy in the eye._

_“You- you told me to stay downstairs, sir!” The boy stuttered, attempting to pull his arm away._

_“So, you can listen?” The boy nodded furiously at the question, “Then how about you do what I fucking tell you!” The boy seemingly panicked at Harvey’s shift in volume, yanking his arm out of Harvey’s grip and sprinting down the hallway and down a flight of stairs that led to, presumably, the basement. Harvey sighed, adjusting his hair before moving back towards Roman, “Now,” he purred, “Where were we?”_

_Before Harvey could continue, Roman stopped him, “Wait,” He said, pushing Harvey back slightly, “Is he yours?”_

_Harvey scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Yeah, he’s mine, but if you think I give two shits about that kid, you’re insane... Why?” Harvey asked, “You like kids or somthin’?”_

_Roman smiled, putting his hands around Harvey’s neck, “I hate kids,” Roman said, grin wide, “Not to mention,” he leaned forward until his mouth was by Harvey’s ear, whispering, “It’s pretty hot when you yell,” ignoring the twinge of sympathy he felt for the kid, Roman surged forward, meeting Harvey in a kiss. Still, when Harvey and himself started making their way upstairs, Roman couldn’t help but throw one last glance into the hallway where wide, brown eyes stared at him.  
_

_November 24th 2019: 6:11 PM_

“What are your guys’s plans for Thanksgiving?” Remy asked, cutting into the steak on his plate. 

Logan hummed, serving Roman and himself a spoonful of mashed potatoes, “My parent’s will be coming to have dinner and spend the night, although they will be here later in the evening if you are looking to do something with Virgil.”

“Actually,” Remy started, “Emile and I were planning a little ‘friends-giving’ brunch thing if y’all were interested? It would be a breakfast potluck with a few of my school friends and some of the neighbors. We would be glad to have all of you!”

“That sounds awesome, kiddo!” Patton said, “What time were you guys planning it for?”

“About nine thirty although we will have people dropping in later too,” Remy explained.

“That does sound like a fun morning! What do you think, Virgil?”

Virgil, who had been non-verbal the majority of the day and had slept poorly the previous night simply gave a thumbs up, before returning to staring at his food. Remy snorted, patting Virgil on the head affectionately. In response, Virgil flipped Remy off, shoveling a spoonful of peas in his mouth.

“Virgil!” Patton cried out, “Be nice!” Virgil just stuck his tongue out at Patton, causing Logan to smirk slightly. Roman laughed quietly, holding his hands up in surrender when Patton glared playfully at him.

Soon enough, the group had finished eating. Remy and Virgil had moved to cuddle on the couch while Logan, Roman, and Patton did the dishes. 

“So,” Remy started, running his fingers through Virgil’s hair, “I was wondering if you want me to introduce you to my friend's as my boyfriend on Thanksgiving?” Virgil hummed quietly and shrugged, pushing himself farther into Remy’s chest. Remy snorted, shaking his head a little, “That’s not quite an answer, love. You don’t have to answer now, I just want you to think over it some okay?” Remy felt Virgil nod into his chest and smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of Virgil’s head, “You should sleep.” Remy said looking at the exhausted boy before him. 

In response, Virgil huffed, gripping onto Remy tighter. Remy laughed a little bit, “I promise I’ll wake you up to say goodbye honey.” Virgil lifted his head up to look at Remy. Seemingly satisfied at what he saw, Virgil nodded, pressing a kiss to Remy’s cheek before settling back on his chest.

Soon enough, both boys had fallen asleep, holding each other close as Roman draped a blanket over them, before kissing Virgil’s forehead. “Goodnight boys.” He whispered, smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:  
> (Non-descriptive) making out  
> Going non-verbal  
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING
> 
> bleh. That first scene was painful for me to write. Trust me, I didn’t like reading that either. 
> 
> Well anyways, thank you for reading! See you soon!  
> \- Apollo


	11. March 2nd, 2018 & November 26th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gives in to Remus.
> 
> Virgil blows up at his dads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning. Please check end notes for more details.
> 
> Ooohhhhh boyyyyyyy. Strap in folks for the 3,000+ word monster of a chapter.

_ March 2nd, 2018 _

_ Virgil squirmed as Remus kissed down his neck, stopping every few seconds to leave another bruise or hickey against his dark skin. “Remus,” Virgil breathed, trying to push the other boy away. Remus didn’t budge, mouth moving lower as he began lifting the bottom of Virgil’s shirt. “Stop!” Virgil cried, flailing around in panic.  _

_ “Virgil.” Remus said darkly, moving his head away from Virgil’s neck, “I’m getting sick of this. ” Virgil avoided eye contact with Remus as he fought to catch his breath. “We’re in a relationship now. And what do people in relationships do?” Remus purred, “They kiss each other.” Virgil swallowed hard. “They  _ fuck  _ eachother.” Virgil couldn’t breathe. “And they  _ don’t  _ complain.” Virgil wanted to die.  _

_ Impatient, Remus grabbed Virgil’s chin, forcing him to make eye contact. Virgil gasped in surprise, gulping in air. Remus laughed at the panic in Virgil’s eyes, gripping his chin harder. “Aw,” he cooed, “c’mon V, don’t you wanna have some fun?” Virgil said nothing, pulling against Remus’s grip a little. The other boy tilted his head to the side a little, smirking, “Tell me, Agni,” Virgil’s breath stuttered a little, “You really thought you could get away with having a murderer for a dad and not telling me?” Virgil squeezed his eyes shut, a tear slipping out. “You’re such a baby, aren’t you? Maybe that’s what I’ll call you: baby.” Virgil hated it. He hated everything about this. _

_ Suddenly, Remus was kissing him again, shoving his tongue into Virgil’s mouth forcefully. It wasn’t long before Remus was pulling Virgil’s clothes off, quickly followed by his own. And this time, Virgil didn’t fight it.  _

_ Maybe if Virgil closed his eyes, he could pretend that this wasn’t happening: pretend he was enjoying it: pretend he loved Remus. Maybe, maybe, he could just pretend and it would all be okay.  _

_ —— _

_ November 26th, 2019: 9:37 a.m. _

Virgil had only just dragged himself out of his bedroom, despite the fact that he had been awake since five in the morning, and he was already regretting it. The bustle in the living room and kitchen was not helping his already present overstimulation and it only added to his sour mood. So, it was really no surprise when he quickly blew up at his father figures.

“Well you’re up late!” Patton commented from where he sat on the couch, knitting. Virgil just grunted, attempting to focus on the music playing in the headphone sat over one ear. He quickly walked over to the coffee pot and poured the remaining coffee into his mug. He shouldn’t be having coffee with his anxiety, but, on days like this one, he needed it. Stopping by the pantry to get a slice of toast, Virgil made his way to the table, doing his best to avoid tripping over his own feet from tiredness. This, however, made him unaware that Roman, who was already sitting at the kitchen table, had started stretching. Virgil walked straight into Roman’s arm, causing him to drop the piece of bread and spill hot coffee on both him and Roman. Roman snatched his arm away, holding it to his chest, while Virgil stumbled backwards, quickly moving to hunch around the coffee mug. 

Logan, having heard the commotion, moved towards Roman when he noticed how shallow his breathing was, “Roman,” he asked, “Can you hear me?” Virgil swallowed hard as he watched Logan coach Roman through his breathing. He startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder, only to find Patton smiling sheepishly. 

“Sorry for scaring you kiddo. Let’s go to the living room, yeah?” Virgil nodded, stumbling after Patton. However, when Patton sat down, Virgil didn’t follow, instead, stomping up the stairs and closing the door to his bedroom loudly. Virgil  _ knew _ that he shouldn’t be this upset. That he had fucked up, and that was okay. But it didn’t matter. Cause he had fucked up a million times but he still felt terrible anytime it involved Roman, or Patton, or Logan. Because he could handle being a screw up but if that led to him hurting his family, it was better to hide it. To not let them get close enough to get hurt.

Starring numbly at his door, Virgil clenched his jaw. He didn’t need them, or their support. He was sick of being treated like a baby. He’d be fine on his own. 

——

_ November 26th, 2019: 3:13 PM _

When Virgil eventually moved downstairs to get lunch, he was perturbed to find the three still in the living room.  _ “Why did I have to blow up during break when everyone’s home.”  _ he thought, resisting the urge to groan. Instead, he turned up his music, focusing on the angsty lyrics of “ _ Mama _ ” by My Chemical Romance. 

Looking into the fridge to find food that would make the quickest meal, Virgil shrugged when he saw some leftovers from the other night. Quickly spooning the spaghetti onto a plate and sticking it in the microwave, Virgil frowned when he saw Logan, now at the dining table, motion for him to take off his headphones. Virgil did so but didn't pause his music, the angry chorus of the song still able to be heard from his headphones. “Yes?” Virgil asked, annoyed at the interruption. 

Logan raised an eyebrow and titled his head ever so slightly to the side, analyzing the boy before him. “Is something wrong, Virgil?” he asked, tone neutral.

“Nope.” Virgil said, popping the  _ P _ . Ignoring his racing heart, Virgil turned back to the microwave, disappointed to find his food was not yet done.

“Virgil. I am trying to have a conversation with you.” Logan stated clearly, although Virgil couldn’t help but pick up on the annoyance in his tone. 

Licking his lips, Virgil turned back around, “Well, I don’t wanna talk so feel free to move on.”

Logan narrowed his eyes, staring at Virgil, who fidgeted under the intense stare, “What is wrong, Virgil?” Logan asked, more insistent.

Virgil clenched his fists angrily, “What’s wrong,  _ Logan. _ ” Logan was obviously taken aback by being addressed as such, having grown used to being referred to as one of Virgil’s father figures in the past few months, “is that you guys won’t leave me the fuck alone!” Logan looked confused by the outburst while Patton and Roman, who had made their way into the kitchen, look stunned, “I just wanted fucking food!” Virgil yelled, blinking away the tears that came to his eyes, “But  _ no _ , something  _ must _ be wrong with me, because being independent is too much for poor, precious, Virgil.” Virgil fake gagged, ignoring the variety of expressions on the other three’s faces, “It may come as a surprise to you but I can do things on my own! I’m not some innocent, fragile,  _ useless _ , kid. Are you ever gonna get that through your fucking heads?” Virgil panted as he stared at his parents, although he wasn’t sure how much longer that title would apply to them.    
  


“Kiddo...” Patton said, tears streaming down his face. Before he could even process what was happening, Virgil opened the door, and ran. By the time he had stopped, Virgil had no clue where he was. 

“Damnit.” Virgil muttered, glancing at his surroundings, “Damnit!” He yelled, kicking the toe of his combat boot into the ground. God, why did he have to be such a fuck up. “God, you—“ Virgil cut himself off by making an angry noise in the back of his throat. Satisfied with how it felt, Virgil continued to make the noise, along with stamping his right foot against the concrete and hitting his clenched fists against his thighs. Virgil stopped abruptly a few moments later when thunder boomed across the sky, causing him to cry out and slap his hand over his ears. “Fuck,” he yelled, lightning flashing across the sky as rain began to pour from the sky. Quickly using one hand to grab his phone, while keeping the other clamped over his ear, Virgil scrolled through his contacts, not giving himself time to overthink as he pressed Remy’s contact, pulling the phone up to his free ear. 

Remy picked up after two rings, voice smooth, “Hey darling,” he said lightly. Virgil didn’t respond, breath hitching a bit as he continued to hyperventilate into the receiver, “V?” Remy said quietly, continuing when he received no response, “Can you breathe with me honey? In for four hold for seven out for eight, okay?” Virgil let out a quiet noise from the back of his throat but complied, gasping in a large breath only to start coughing. Remy clicked his tongue softly, “Slowly babes, take your time, okay?” even though Remy couldn’t see him, Virgil nodded, working to take a slow breath. Remy encouraged him the whole time, speaking softly and helping Virgil count. “Okay,” he started once Virgil was no longer hyperventilating, “What’s going on? Do you need me to come get you, doll?” Virgil rocked on his heels as he moved to put the phone on speaker and click on his texting app, texting Remy a quick,  _ “yes,”  _ Remy seemed to have seen the text, as he continued, “Okay, are you at home, Storm?” Virgil bit his thumbnail while sending a  _ “no” _ to Remy, rocking a little faster as he waited for Remy’s response, “um- okay. Can you send me your location?” Remy asked, a little bit of worry seeping into his voice. Virgil quickly did so, taking a deep breath as he waited for Remy to receive the text. “Alright, I got it. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you while I drive?” Virgil thought it through for second, before sending another text to Remy,  _ “No i've got headphones”  _ “Alright darling,” Remy said, voice warm, “I’ll be there in about ten minutes, okay?” Remy then made exaggerated kissing sounds through the phone, making Virgil snort a little. Remy seemed satisfied with the response because he said goodbye once more before hanging up the phone. 

Virgil quickly connected his headphones, opening up Spotify and clicking on his playlist labeled  _ “Overstimulated” _ . The minutes passed by quickly, Remy soon pulling up by the tree Virgil had taken shelter under. “Hey babe,” Remy greeted, letting Virgil get in the passenger seat before continuing, “Can I touch you?” He asked, sliding his sunglasses to rest atop his hair. Virgil nodded and Remy cupped the other boy’s face in his hands. Virgil immediately looked away from Remy, the intense look in his now visible eyes a little too much at the moment. Remy smiled, pressing a small kiss to the other boy’s forehead, laughing when Virgil scrunched up his nose, cheeks turning pink. Remy let go of Virgil’s face, moving to instead intertwine his pinky finger with Virgil’s. “My house?” Remy asked, buckling his seatbelt again. Virgil hummed, nodding. 

The car ride went by quickly, quiet but not awkwardly. Although, it helped that Virgil still had one headphone resting over his ear, playing music. When they arrived at Remy’s house, Virgil could feel his breathing stutter a little at the thought of the conversation he would have to have with Remy. Regardless, he paused his music and got out of the car, following Remy into the house.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Remy asked, toeing off his shoes by the door, Virgil following suit. Virgil sighed when he realized how hungry he was. He had never actually gotten a chance to eat his lunch. Quickly taking his phone out, he texted the phrase,  _ “Nothing too big,”  _ to Remy. 

Remy, picking up on Virgil’s nervousness, grabbed the first bag of chips he found in the pantry and started leading Virgil upstairs. They stopped at the end door and Remy allowed Virgil to open it, following him in and moving the door so it was open about half way. It was a boundary they had established at the beginning of their friendship, and it was something neither had felt any need to change now that they were dating. Virgil went straight to Remy’s bed, collapsing on the pile of soft blankets and stuffed animals. Remy chuckled a little bit, moving to sit next to Virgil’s head, beginning to run his fingers through Virgil’s hair. Virgil quickly intertwined Remy’s free hand with his own on Remy’s knee.

It was silent for a few seconds before Remy spoke, “Do you wanna talk about it?” He said quietly. Virgil snorted, gesturing to himself before letting his hand drop. Remy huffed, laughing a little, “And you call  _ me _ a drama queen,” Virgil rolled over a little so he could see Remy, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend once he had done so. Remy rolled his eyes dramatically, sticking his own tongue out in retaliation. Virgil furrowed his eyebrows in faux anger, before burying his head back into the blankets beneath him. It was quiet for a few more moments before Remy sighed, “Okay but like, serious time babe, what do you need from me?” Virgil didn’t respond, shrugging his shoulders from where he remained burrowed into Remy’s bed. “ _ V _ ,” Remy said, a little exasperated.

Virgil flinched, squeezing the blanket his free hand had been resting on, “Don’t know,” he muttered, barely audible to Remy. 

Remy deflated a little when he heard how exhausted Virgil sounded, “it’s okay, honey,” he promised, returning to slowly running his hand through Virgil’s hair, “I just need you to answer a few questions for me, okay? You can just nod or shake your head.” Virgil slowly rolled over onto his back, curling up to Remy. “Do your parents know where you are?” Virgil shook his head, wincing a bit. “Okay, have you had water or food recently?” Virgil took a second to think it over before shaking his head no once more. Remy nodded, smiling a little bit, “Okay darling, I’ve just got one more, okay?” Virgil nodded, blinking slowly, “Are you hurt at all? Anything we need to take care of?” 

The anxiety that had vacated Virgil in favor of exhaustion quickly returned, Virgil’s breath stuttering in this chest, “You can’t be mad,” Virgil stammered, sitting up, “don’t be mad, Rem, please—”

“Woah, hold on babe,” Remy calmed, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, “it’s okay, why would I be mad?” 

Virgil swallowed hard, wrapping his arms around his stomach and shrugging. Remy furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his boyfriend, confusion written on his face, “It’s okay, hun,” Virgil didn’t respond, “Can I see where you’re hurt?” Virgil’s eyes darted up to meet Remy’s before he looked away, leg shaking as he quickly pushed up his sleeve, revealing lines of red, irritated, self-inflicted cuts.

It was silent for a few seconds before Remy breathed out a quiet, “Oh,” Virgil bit his cheek, blinking back the embarrassed tears. 

“Happy?” Virgil grumbled, not looking at Remy. Although slightly taken aback by his sudden change in attitude, Remy softened a little when he saw just how vulnerable Virgil looked. 

“C’mon,” Remy said quietly, “let’s get you cleaned up.” After taking off Virgil’s headphones and setting them on the bed with his phone, Remy softly grabbed Virgil’s hand, pulling him to the bathroom adjoined to his bedroom. Remy moved to have Virgil sit on the counter as he went to grab a clean rag.

It was silent as Remy ran the washcloth under warm water, moving to clean off the cuts on Virgil’s right arm. After adjusting his sleeve, Remy began to carefully clean them, his other hand cradling Virgil’s elbow. “Anywhere else?” Remy asked once he had finished with Virgil’s right arm. The boy before him huffed before pulling up his left sleeve, revealing more cuts on his other arm. Remy stayed silent, moving to clean Virgil’s other arm. 

The two sat in silence for a few moments before Virgil muttered, “You’re mad.” 

Remy raised an eyebrow, not stopping the task before him, “I’m not.” 

“Don’t lie to me!” Virgil yelled, pulling his arm away, “Don’t— you’re mad!” 

Remy sighed quietly, taking a step back from the counter, “I’m…” he started, searching for the right words, “upset.” He decided on, “that doesn’t mean I’m upset at you or mad, it just means I’m upset.” 

This, however, only distressed Virgil more as his breathing began to pick up, “I’m sorry, okay?” Virgil said frantically, “Just don’t— don’t,” Virgil cut himself off with a sob, choking on air.

“ _ Oh sweetheart _ ,” Remy cooed, heartbreak seeping into his voice, “it’s okay, hun, I’m not mad at you, okay? Just breathe with me, okay?” Virgil sobbed again, threading his fingers through his hair and pulling roughly. “No, no, none of that darling,” Remy said softly, using his own hands to try and pry Virgil’s away from his hair. Virgil didn’t budge, gripping his hair harder, the purple curls tangling in his fingers. “V,” Remy said gently, still trying to coax Virgil’s hands away from his hair, “Let go of your hair please.” Virgil whimpered and lessened his grip, but still didn’t allow his hands to be pulled away.

Remy continued to hold Virgil’s hands, rubbing his thumbs against the backs of them as he made sure Virgil didn’t move to pull his hair again. “Breathe, darlin’,” Remy cooed, “C’mon, honey,” he said before taking in a deep, exaggerated, breath, modeling it for the boy in front of him. Virgil gasped in a breath, trying to follow Remy, choking on a sob when he couldn’t take a full breath. Remy clicked his tongue, squeezing Virgil’s hands lightly. “You got this, V, you’re doing so good.” Virgil clinched his eyes shut, tears falling. 

By the time they had gotten Virgil’s breathing back to normal, he was slumped in exhaustion, hands intertwined with Remy’s in his lap. “I think,” Remy started, rubbing Virgil’s hands, “We’re both in need of a good nap, hm?” Virgil just nodded, sniffling a little. “Do you think you can walk back to my room?” Remy asked. Virgil just nodded, sliding off of the counter and letting go of Remy’s hands in favor of sticking his own hands in his hoodie pockets. 

Moving into Remy’s bedroom, Remy moved to his closet, grabbing a pair of pajama pants and a sleep shirt and holding them to his boyfriend questioningly. Virgil took them, holding the clothes to his chest as he watched Remy return to the closet, finding his own pair of pajamas. “Okay,” Remy said, “I’m gonna go ahead and get changed in here, okay doll?” Virgil nodded into the pajamas. Despite still being on edge, Remy melted a little at the sight, smiling at Virgil, “You just knock on this door whenever you’re done, mkay?” Remy said, gesturing to the closet door. Virgil nodded again, not meeting Remy’s eye. 

Virgil got changed on auto-pilot, staring at the bed in front of him for a few moments before he remembered what Remy had told him, moving to knock softly on the closet door. Remy emerged a moment later, sunglasses in his hands. After setting down the sunglasses on his desk, Remy moved to his bed, pulling up the blankets and sitting down. After typing something on his phone and plugging it into the charger, Remy looked over to Virgil, patting the spot next to him. Virgil walked slowly, cautiously sitting down. “Cuddles?” Remy asked, looking at his boyfriend, “You can say no.” Virgil thought it over for a second before nodding, sighing happily when Remy gathered Virgil in his arms, laying down with Virgil on his chest. Remy burrowed his face in Virgil’s curls, instantly relaxing. “V?” He murmured, hearing his boyfriend hum in response, “I’m proud of you.” It was clearly not the comment Virgil has been expecting; he tensed for a moment before the words appeared to sink in, Virgil sniffling and tightening his hold on Remy’s waist. Remy almost cried too, himself sniffling a little at his boyfriends reaction, “So, so proud.” Remy continued, burying his face in Virgil’s hair. 

There was a moment more of sniffling from the both of them before Virgil spoke up. “Promise?” He said, voice vulnerable. 

Remy laughed wettly, squeezing Virgil, “Yes, darling, I promise.” Content, Virgil began to drift off to sleep, Remy following soon after. They both knew things were hard but, in that moment, they knew it would be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Non consensual kissing   
> (Heavily implied) rape/non-con  
> Panic attack  
> Going non-verbal  
> Self harm (cutting)   
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE!!!
> 
> Oof. Sorry about the wait but I hope you enjoyed this kinda wild chapter. The next one will be going a little more into Roman’s perspective during some of this.
> 
> Also! It is very heavily implied in this chapter that Virgil is autistic! I did that on purpose! It was not something I originally planned to do but since starting this book I have learned that I myself am autistic so I figured, why not project that onto Virgil too lol.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you’re doing well!  
> -Apollo


	12. November 26th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman, Logan, and Patton recive news that’s Virgil’s okay.....
> 
> Virgil’s still not okay, especially not with the thought that he keeps pushing away eating at him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger/Content Warning. Please check end note for more details. 
> 
> Why hello there :0 ‘tis me, the author who hasn’t updated for months. I’ve got a note explaining why in the end not but for now, enjoy the chapter (there’s fluff :D)

Roman’s eyes scanned outside the car window, attempting to find any trace of Virgil. He sighed when they turned another street corner, once again seeing nothing. 

“We’ll find him, Roman,” Logan murmured softly, hands squeezing the steering wheel tightly. Roman didn’t respond, hoping Virgil would miraculously appear outside the window. 

Although he was hesitant to take his eyes off the window, Roman did so after feeling his phone buzz. Seeing it was a text from Remy, Roman clicked on the notification as fast as he was able to, cursing when he messed up his password the first time.

**Remy:**

_ Idk what happened but i won’t ask. Virgil’s with me. I picked him up from the park a bit ago. He’s all good, just shaken. We’re gonna nap, will keep you posted on what time he’ll be home once we wake up.  _

Roman let out a breath, relief seeping into him. “Roman?” Logan questioned, eyes flicking between the phone in Roman’s hand and the windshield a few times, “Did something happen?” Roman nodded, gesturing for Logan to pull over in the random road they were on, handing him the phone once they had pulled over. 

“Oh,” Logan said, nodding to Roman, “Good. We should contact Patton.” Roman nodded, taking another breath, reminding himself that Virgil was  _ okay _ . It was all okay, before pressing the call button on Patton’s contact.

Patton answered on the first ring, yelling out, “Did you find him?” 

“Yeah,” Roman breathed, “Yeah we did he’s uh, with Remy, he found Virgil at a park. They’re together now.”

“Oh thank goodness!” Patton exclaimed, “Are you…. is he coming back?” Patton asked, and Roman knew he was about to cry.

“It’s okay, love,” Roman murmured, “Remy said that they’re gonna nap for a bit, and will let us know once they’re up.”

Patton sniffed a little, “Okay, that’s good.”

Roman smiled into the phone, looking over to Logan for a moment, “We’re heading back now my love, we’ll be home soon.” 

“Okay, drive safe!” Patton said happily, all though he was still clearly crying. 

“We will,” Roman promised softly, “I love you.”

“I love you too!” Patton said, before hanging up. 

——

Virgil burrowed deeper into Remy’s chest. His boyfriend was still asleep but Virgil had woken up 10 minutes ago, and had almost immediately begun to cry again. The slow kind of tears that cascade down your face and just don’t seem to stop as you drown in your thoughts. He felt so  _ stupid _ . Because he had proven everybody right, hadn’t he? He was a useless, dependent,  _ baby _ . Remus’s voice echoed inside Virgil’s head and he bit his tongue to hold back a sob. Why had any of this happened? He had relapsed for a stupid reason, gotten angry at his family, and then run away from people who were only trying to help him. And Remy said he was  _ proud of him _ . He hated it. He hated himself, and the way he acted, and the way he looked, and the way  _ he he he he _ —

“Babe?” Remy asked, voice deep from sleep, Virgil froze, remaining quiet in the hope that Remy would ignore him and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, Remy had a different idea. Remy moved to pull Virgil away from his chest, frowning when he saw the tears streaming down Virgil’s face, “Hun…” he said softly, cradling Virgil’s face and wiping the tears away gently. It didn’t seem to matter, however, as the tears didn’t stop, only seeming to come faster as Virgil hiccuped and looked away from Remy, embarrassed. Here he was again: Being a baby. It was fine, it should be fine. It wasn’t fine.

“ _ Remy _ ,” Virgil sobbed, gripping Remy’s shirt in his hand tightly,

“Darling, it's okay, I promise, let’s take a few deep breaths, okay?” Remy said, rubbing his thumb against Virgil’s cheek.

Virgil shook his head rapidly, hiccuping, “Can’t, can’t!” He cried frantically.

“That’s okay! It’s okay Virge!” Remy reassured, concerned about how frantic Virgil was, “Can you name 5 things in my room for me, sweetheart? You don’t even have to tell me if you don’t want, just think about them! Okay honey?” 

Virgil nodded, clenching and unclenching his fist that held Remy’s shirt, “Po-poster,” Virgil stammered.

Remy slowly moved his hand up by Virgil’s hair, waiting for Virgil to nod before moving to gently stroke his hair, “Good job, sweetie, can you do four more for me?”

Virgil clenched his eyes shut, gripping Remy’s shirt harder, “No I just, I just wanna, just wanna talk please.” 

Remy smiled, placing a kiss on Virgil’s head! “Thank you for telling me, storm.” He said softly, continuing to stroke Virgil’s hair, quietly waiting for Virgil to talk.

“Things are getting bad again, Rem.” Virgil said softly, biting his lip for a moment before continuing, “It’s all too much, and I’m being  _ such an asshole  _ about it and I—” Virgil cut himself off, looking up at Remy, “l’m tired,” he murmured, “Emotionally, physically, and I just keep thinking things that just— it’s too much.”

Remy furrowed his eyebrows, playing with Virgil’s curls for a moment while he thought, “What do you keep thinking of, hun? What’s going on in that mind of yours.”

Virgil laughed bitterly, “Oh you know, the thought that I’m not good enough, that I’m worse than my ex or my birth father because of the way I’ve been lashing out at people, and the thought that maybe, maybe I’m not—” Virgil suddenly inhaled a shaky breath, looking away from Remy.

“That maybe you’re not what, Stormcloud?” Remy asked softly, rubbing Virgil’s forehead with his thumb, attempting to sooth out the worry lines on his forehead.

“That...that maybe I’m not cis! Okay?” Virgil spoke up, speaking quickly. 

Remy blinked, softening, “ _ Virgil, _ ” he said, laughing a bit, “That’s okay, honey. It’s okay to question things. Can we maybe talk about that, V? I want to make you as comfortable as possible.” Virgil shrugged, one hand letting go of Remy’s shirt to move around and trace shapes into his back. Remy knew Virgil would have said no if he was actually uncomfortable with the subject so he continued softly, “Do you know what you want V? Are there certain pronouns or labels you think you like?”

“I,” Virgil started, looking back to Remy, who smiled softly, “I… I mean I don’t really know and I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was sure so…” 

“V,” Remy smiled, “it’s okay to expirement, and I know me  _ and _ your family will use whatever pronouns or terms you want us too, even if you decide to change them, okay?” 

“If…. if you’re sure I, uh, I was thinking I might like… they and them and uh, agender?” Virgil said, watching carefully for Remy’s reaction.

“Perfect,” Remy said, placing another kiss onto Virgil’s forehead, causing him—  _ them _ to blush. “And gender neutral terms? And what do you want me to refer to you as? Will ‘partner’ be good? Oh! And a name! Is there a different name you want me to call you?”

Virgil blinked, starring at Remy, “You’re like, really excited about this aren’t you?” They asked, confused.

“Of course I am darling!” Remy exclaimed, “I want to do whatever I can to make you happy.” He said, smiling.

“Oh.” Virgil breathed out, “Um… thanks. Yeah, I uh, I think I like gender neutral terms um, maybe some feminine or masculine ones will be okay but I don’t really know yet, and ‘partner’ is okay. And uh, Virgil’s already kinda my chosen name. I uh, wanted a new one after everything with my birth father and uh, Roman helped me change it.”

Suddenly, Remy smirked, pulling Virgil closer, “You know what? I really love my partner, their name is Virgil.” 

“I, what are you doing?” Virgil questioned, blushing slightly.

“They are just so fucking beautiful, and funny, and kind.”

“Remy!” Virgil whined, blushing bright red, bringing their hands up to hide their face. 

“And they’re also very brave,” Remy said, softer, “And very, very loved. I’m so proud of them.”

Virgil chuckled wetly, pushing themself away from Remy’s chest to wipe at their tears, “God,” they said, “You’re such a sap…. it’s disgusting.”

Remy snorted, ruffling Virgil’s hair a bit, “Oh shut it hun, you love it.”

“Gross.” Virgil said, collapsing on their back and spreading out on the bed, nearly kicking Remy off.

Remy gasped before getting and idea and smiling. “Hey babe,” he said, getting Virgil to open their eyes lazily, “You look a little cold, I think you need a blanket.”

“What—” Virgil started confused, only for Remy to carefully collapse on top of Virgil, spread out like a blanket, “I—” Virgil wheezed, “You’re such an asshole!” they laughed, looking at Remy whose face was resting on their chest. Remy just stuck his tongue out, causing Virgil to giggle. 

“Do you think you’re ready to talk to your parents?” Remy asked after a few minutes of silence, Virgil running a hand through their boyfriend’s hair while Remy played with Virgil’s fingers. 

Virgil froze for a moment, “Yeah,” they sighed, “As ready as I can be. Will you…” they glanced at Remy before continuing, “Will you come with me?” They asked hesitantly.

Remy smiled, “Of course, V, I’ll be with you the whole time.”

Virgil let out a sigh of relief, before letting a smile creep onto their face, “Okay…. lets go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger/Content Warning:  
> Panic attack, coming out, unreliable narrator, unhealthy thoughts, mention of self harm, mention of past abusive relationships, grounding techniques.
> 
> Please let me know if I need to add anything else!
> 
> Surprise shawty!!!! You really thought Virgil was gonna be cis? In this household?? You fool. For real tho, I hope you guys like the addition to this story, I thought it would be fun and be just another way for me to project onto Virgil :D
> 
> Okay, no for the fun part. Hi. I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry. My mental health got worse, to the point of me having to pull out of school for a while. Now I’m still mostly pulled out, and I’m currently down to only 3 classes. But I’m getting there. I’m now taking homeopathy meds that have actually really helped with my brain fog and I’m finding I have more motivation to do things now. I can’t make any promises about uploads and responding to comments since I’m still a mess but please know that I love talking to you guys and writing this, I’m going to do everything I can so it doesn’t stop. So uh yeah. I appreciate you guys sticking around, you really have no idea how much it means to me. Hope you enjoyed! Please feel free to comment, I’ll do my best to reply :))  
> Love ya guys,  
> -apollo


End file.
